You may do more job-searching on their behalf than they do. When you try to decide on where or when to go on vacation, pick out an apartment, or make plans, they find fault with each suggestion and won’t offer any of their own. This way they retain control and blame you for being controlling.
As you might expect, negotiating agreements, such as in a divorce or child visitation plan, is exasperating.
Their obstructionism is a pseudo attempt at independence.
They don’t leave, but withdraw or withhold intimacy instead.
Lateness at work or delivering assignments is a self-sabotaging form of rebellion that can get them dismissed.
Their personality may include pouting or acting sullen, stubborn, or argumentative.
They refuse to take responsibility for anything, and distort reality, rationalize, blame, make excuses, minimize, deny, or flat out lie about their behavior or the promises or agreements they’ve made.
We all engage in some of these behaviors some of the time, but when there’s a pervasive pattern of multiple symptoms, it’s likely that you’re dealing with passive-aggression.
Like all codependents, they’re in denial of the impact of their behavior.
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Passive-aggressive people act passive, but express aggression covertly.