Having an honest conversation with yourself about sex is just as important as discussing it with your partner, experts say."Every woman and man should know their boundaries before they start dating, and most of us don't," says Cheryl Mc Clary, Ph D, JD, professor of women's health at University of North Carolina-Asheville."There's really no formula that I've encountered," says 28-year-old Andrew Reymer, a single resident of Baltimore, Maryland."It depends on how rapidly or slowly things progress." Joan Allen, a relationship expert, finds that baby boomers are far more likely to wait to have sex than younger daters.When Mc Clary refers to boundaries, she's not talking just about the physical boundaries that come with sexual territory. "Emotional wholeness is crucial to the decision process of whether or not to have sex," Mc Clary tells Web MD.To that end, Mc Clary often tells women, "If you value a committed relationship, ask yourself, 'What do I need to do to stay emotionally whole?
While you can't apply a one-size-fits-all response to sexual dating rules regardless of age or experience, professionals who have studied the topic say it is a good idea to develop a set of prudent dating rules - before the big date.
Do you believe you have a future with this married man or are you dating this married man because you’re not looking for commitment?
Whether you're new to the dating scene, a regular player, or jumping back into the game after a long hiatus, the same questions about dating rules apply: How soon do you lean over for that first kiss? And last -- but by no means least -- how do you know when the time is right for sex?
'" When directing her advice on dating rules to a male audience, Mc Clary puts things a little differently.
"Make sure your brain, heart, and penis are in conjunction -- they should all be in a straight line before you have sex," she says.