In short: no one person in your life can be your everything.Which is actually great advice to apply to all those dates.To you and me, each date is like money in your pocket: Full of hope, promise and a brighter future.Our friends, however, can get tired of listening to what to them sounds like the same story time and again – dates full of promise that end in flames/hot sex/unreturned morning-after texts. Something in your antics might make them reflect on their own relationships — if you feel you can be so picky in your dating, are they settling in their own ho-hum marriages? Little nugget of advice here, Tyler: That does not a romance make. You have seen this dude around, you have mutual friends, you have officially met IRL, and he hits you with the "Wait, have we met before? You and I both know we went to high school together.20. Please update your profile picture every calendar year. I currently have several such people in my life: My friend Marc, a fellow single parent who is actively dating and on whom I rely on to exchange play-by-plays of our romantic lives, and Sasha, a friend who is 20 years older than me and married for the first time in her 40s and shares with me a similar libido and open-mindedness about men; and Kimberly, a single mom who lives in Chicago who I met on vacation there last year and is also stepping out.
None of these same friends asks if I’m seeing anyone, and a couple have made passive-aggressive comments that make me think they find me to be slutty/too picky/a bad role model for my kids — yet not so long ago they were convincing me to put down the Ben and Jerry’s and go out with a human man on Saturday nights! Like you, before I started my post-divorce dating extravaganza I had all kinds of hangups about what it meant to date at this phase of life.
Like I said, everyone is on her own path, and you may not concern yourself with their judgements and silence treatments.
But, perhaps, you may find some insight in their thoughts. So, if you are inclined, just ask them outright: “What do you think of all these dating stories? Alternatively, you may simply respect that you and these friends do not need to understand one another on this front, and respect these conversation boundaries they have created. In either scenario, you must find a couple of friends who do understand.
A couple years after my split, my friends urged me to start dating again — and despite my reluctance (I told myself I was too fat! How can I tell my kids that I’m going out with men!? A couple of friends set me up on blind dates, and another one actually sat at my computer and helped me fill out a profile.
For the first year or so, these same friends were all ears about my antics–happy to go for brunch and listen to my funny stories, and picking up the phone when I needed to cry or sort out the minutia of a texting correspondence with a dude du jour.